Some of my acquaintances have told me I should practice Buddhism - they say this might work to alleviate some of my feelings of despair. To this end, I researched Buddhism on Wikipedia, and while I agree with two of the four noble truths, I know that at least for myself, there is no way to reach liberated enlightenment (read: a state free of suffering).
I know this because I have been meditating constantly for 14 hours, and I feel this light on my face, and I see myself in the mirror and know that I am glowing, but I feel no release from my misery. If anything, I am only more conscious of the sadness in the world. Yes, I crave nothing (at least for now, I know when this glow fades my voracious hunger for catnip will likely return) and I am filled with light, but each particle of that light contains a deepening darkness.
A crystallized knowledge of pain.
Enlightenment is suffering, suffering is enlightenment.
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ReplyDeletein sleep and coma, we still feel relief. then why can't we feel relief in meditation, breathing in breathing out...
ReplyDeleteif we keep our mind still, it doesn't have to venture in thought and experience various sufferings.
physically we will still suffer as long as there are five senses to suffer from. but we can avoid mental sufferings. the end of suffering is when we let go of ego (sakkaya ditthi) - I, me, I suffer, suffering is on me...
this ego is what we have to remove at the first stage
once one understands this is just five senses, not me, not mine, after letting go, there is nobody who suffers. this is the start of the end of suffering.