Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Luco, Conspiracy Theorist

I am taking a break from all this grading to share with you some thoughts about the dog that have been plaguing me as of late. I lie awake all night staring at nothing, consumed by these suspicions. It will tear me apart if I keep them to myself!  

Also, I am taking a break because I cannot get the cap off of this infernal pen....

Did you already know I was going to discuss the dog? I fear I have become predictable in my anxiety and diespleasure, but allow me this moment, reader, if you will. 

This picture of the dog was taken last night. The prison guard and her husband make the mistake of thinking the dog is being cute, lovable; they believe this picture captures something puppyish about him, something sweet and shining in him.

I know better, however. Note his firm grip on this unhappy toy. His sharp teeth. Those serious eyes. To me this picture reveals his murderous intentions; I do not know how someone can look at this picture and see anything but a rabid, dangerous monster.

When people come into the house, they say hello to the dog. They follow him around. Allow him to jump up into their laps. They pet him and speak softly to him. They throw his toys for him. They give him meat treats. They look and look into his eyes and fall in love.

While I toil and toil and toil, totally unappreciated. No one kneels down to pet my head. No one stares lovingly into my eyes. No one tells me how adorable and wonderful I am. My only thank you is when my prison guard rolls her eyes at me and pushes me off this pile of work I still have to get done! 

I seem to be the only one who sees through the dog. He wants to be the center of attention, and the only real way to do that is to do away with us. He is plotting to be rid of us. I cannot believe the prison guard does not realize this. I cannot believe she allows him to sleep in her bed in my old spot! Now I must sleep on the couch, isolated, alone.

The horrible dog, I see it. He will not rest until I am gone. I will not be surprised when he tries to eat me.

And no one notices my absence. 

1 comment:

  1. this cat is so adorable, I have a very similar pet, but he is a bit mischievous, I don't know why, but I love him