I woke up out of a deep slumber this morning; I was having a ridiculous and terrible dream. There were very many cats kept in a prison cell with me, all acting ludicrously and speaking with little to no regard for the rules of grammar.
They said: "I can has cheeseburger?" and "Kittehs in da hoouse!" and "O Hay dere." and "Halp!" and "We iz puppetz for da hoomens?"
It was that last one that turned the dream. Where before it had been irritating and creepy, it now became terrifying and caused me to cry out. In my dream the prison cell walls turned black with clotted blood, cats dressed as clowns poured from the ceiling, and....
I was myself metamorphosed into one of them. A lolcat. I created the image above, which is pretty similar to what I saw in my dream. The bad grammar. Atrocious spelling. The horror I felt plunged me into wakefulness and it came to me that this was only a dream. Just a dream.
This is why I fear to sleep and fear to wake; that these lolcats exist in my world troubles and sickens me. That they come after me in my dreams is true torment. And yet I persist. Perhaps I should find the humor in this absurdity. Perhaps laughter can relieve my suffering. You should try it with me, reader, we can test this hypothesis together (perhaps you will leave your experience as a comment on this entry).
Are you ready? One. Two. Three. Go.
I only feel more the fool.