Luco & Instant Messaging

The dog and I recently had an IM conversation. I will faithfully reproduce our transcript below. Please note his aggressive stance (head tilted forward, feet close together), and you cannot see it here, but the dog's eyes were brimming with bloodlust - he thought to humble me with his "gr8 intellect." I shall allow you, reader, to be the judge of who among us has the greater intellect.

SadCat001: Do u ever feel the pressing weight of mortality?

SlipDogg888: The what of the what?

SadCat001: The pressing weight of mortality.

SlipDogg888: I don't know wut that means.

SadCat001: Which part? 

SlipDogg888: The hole thing, kitty littah.

SadCat001: Are you referencing the "hole argument?"

SlipDogg888: nah

SadCat001: Because I can nearly see how that applies, I also have trouble with spacetime substantivalism.

SlipDogg888: wtf

SadCat001: Oh, is that not what you were referencing? I see. Was it simply that you misspelled "whole?"

SlipDogg888: Yo! Doc Slippy in da hoooooouse! The answer for u, Lulu my dude, is u need 2 lighten up! 

SadCat001: So you are suggesting that if I were to "lighten up" then I would be happy and at peace and all would be love and light?

SlipDogg888: i dunno 4 sure, but yah, prolly. Look, u just totally trippin! Like, live lyfe 2 da fullest n crap. Lyfe's short. Also! A penny saved is a penny earned n two hens n da hand r worth 2 n da bush.

SadCat001: Pardon me? Are you just randomly quoting clichés right now?

SlipDogg888: Y?

SadCat001: I hate u.

SadCat001: *you

SlipDogg888: Ur 2 boring. Effing carpe diem n crap. Right?

SadCat001: You want me to seize the day?

SlipDogg888: Yah! N make sumthing of ur lyfe!

SadCat001: How do you know Latin?

SlipDogg888: Took 4 years of latin n skool LOL y? lol

SadCat001: I h8 you, dog.